Day 6 of emptiness

Today is day 6 since I left him mornings are hard nights are hard. I love him I miss him I question am I doing the right thing constantly maybe I was over reacting maybe if I take him back now he’ll be great maybe it’ll change. but we all know that’s not true. After being with someone for 15 years constantly back and fourth I usually leave when I get tired of the lies stealing and fussing. This time I made him leave after a few slip ups lord and cheating and I sit here and say we’ll he wasn’t stealing so maybe it was a chance. It’s literally a constant battle between me and myself daily. Will I make it will I stay strong this time to fully let go. He claims I’m living my best life now when in reality I feel like I’m in a dark pit and can’t get out. How do I heal how do I fully let go or the man I love. Laying in bed can’t get comfortable just so badly want to roll over and feel him laying next to you. Instead you roll over to nothing nothing at all. Moments like these you have remind yourself that you would’ve been rolling over to nothing regardless. That it was only going to get worse once again. The addiction was dragging him back in and only matter of time you would’ve been rolling over to emptiness anyways.